“Hopeless Tomorrows”
A feeling of love
Yet so filled with hate
Towards someone so close
Who is shut as a gate
A person so cold
That feels no emotions
The head of a family
Who can be very explosive
It’s hard to explain
Or ask others for help
When you feel so trapped
And just want to melt
Into this cycle
Of depression and sorrow
Hopeless and wondering
If I’ll be alive tomorrow
Written By: Tina Silva
My life is over, I am a 90 year old women trapped in a 24 year old body.
No one cares about me, no one cares if I live or die,
I’m sure most people who read this wont even know me as I am sure the people who do know me don’t care enough to read what I write.
Some of this may be my fault as I cut myself off from the world, but tell me why didn’t you come find me?
I know why you don’t care.
So now I give up and give in, I will not fight anymore, I will not try anymore.
I have failed at everything I have ever wanted to do, and even things I didn’t.
I belive I should have died by now, I know no one would miss me as I am nothing and will allways be that way.
I am easily forgotten, and not needed by anyone.
I have led a life that no one will ever understand nor do they want to.
I will never be a trophy therefore I am not loved.
I will allways wish and hope that one day it will all change, but it wont, it doesn’t when I try and it doesn’t when I don’t.
So now I go to sleep and I dream dreams that I wish were real, dreams of a life of happness and love.
Dreams where I am in arms that love me and will keep me safe until tomorrow when I wake up and wish to just stay asleep forever.
“A Message For Mom…â€
Why be compared
To something I am not
You probably do not care
And wish that I would rot
You don’t see me
For who I really am
I’ll never be her
You never understand
I am your biological daughter
Your suppose to love me for me
Be happy for all I do
And everything you see
My future plans are decent
Nothing to come so soon
But hers is way better
So perfect and just for you
You say grandma would be proud
What…just proud of her
What about me and your other daughter
Are we just a failed pair?
You don’t know the pain you cause
Whenever you talk like this
Because I wish one day you will be proud
Of everything I have did
Written By: Tina Silva
“I’m Not Little Anymoreâ€
Why treat me the way you do
I’m not a little girl anymore
You prick me with thorns each day
That I’m ready to walk out of the door
I’m sick and tired of this bullshit
And you never believing me
I’m tired and ready to leave
But I love you so dearly
I don’t know what I’d do without you
But you gotta stop treating me this way
You still think I’m your little daughter
But no one else sees it that way
You take matters into your own hands
But you always make things worse
I’m scared to what will happen next
when I go out in the world again
You never believe anything I say
Why do I bother with you anyway
You think everyone sees it like you
But sorry, you’re the only one seeing through
I’m ready to get up and leave
Never come back to this damn disease
It’s like a vortex that keeps sucking me in
That I don’t want to be held back again
You never let me out in the world
You try to keep me back
I’m like a caterpillar in a cocoon
But never fully develops through
So watch out because I’m taking charge
Of my life because it is my life
Don’t try to control me I don’t want to hear this shit
And I don’t care if your going to flip
What will happen to me if you don’t see
When you wake one day without little me
I’ll be gone and far away, you’ll see
I’ll be dead, below seven feet
Written By: Tina Silva
